Claudia Kapp in NY 2006
Dear International Mary, now it s already a month ago, since i came back from New York. it was my first time being there. i got a artist in residency for six weeks, at a nice place in Williamsburg. i was totally flashed by the city. you know, i come from a really tiny village, and the town where i m living now, is maybe counting as many people as fitting into a few skyscrapers in Manhatten.
remember – when we met - you left me your adress. 21 West 129th 5A.
i tried to contact you quite soon after arriving in the city. i asked somebody how to get to your place. i was told to take the blue line and get off at 125th street. so i did. i think it was my 4th day being in the city, when i entered the blue line at 14th street. i still was in the state where i was - lets say - figuring out my way how to move and behave myself in this city. how to give myself a comfortable face while wandering around. i recognized that it feels better, if the face isn´t too transparent and lets say - readable, in combination with some kind of soft face, absorbing and at the same time letting pass through all the neverending amount of impressions. anyway, at that time i was still so unfamiliar with the city and all its different areas and codes. as further the subway was driving uptown, fewer people were in the train. suddenly, this quite new situation for me happened - there was no more white guys to see in the train, as well at the stations where we passed. i was getting totally afraid. i couldn t get rid of this upcoming fear, although i said to myself that it s just cliches that i m making up in my mind. i thought about leaving the train at once, but than hesitated, cause i thought that it might be even more strange or maybe dangerous to get off at some random station. so i kept sitting still and got off at 125th street. well, you do know the street! - i was totally attracted and at the same time still couldn t get rid of this fear, didn t know how to continue this situation. than i asked a woman for the way to your adress. she said: oh my god, its gonna be a long walk,... so i started my walk along the 125th, counting some blocks till i reached the point where i had to take a left into the housing area. i took a break, went to a cafe, trying to calm down a little and thinking about how to continue. cause now there was coming up another barrier for me, because i had to enter the housing area. it was such a strange combination of feelings – i was embarrassed of being so afraid – couldn t believe this and didn t want to accept it. i was just so uncertain and at the same time i saw the only possibility to get in touch with you. i wrote some lines for you, decided to enter the area, manage to find your appartment and leave my note for you.
because this didn t succeed i tried to contact Ari Up, cause you told me that you re a friend of «the Slits». her booker gave me the contact, but she never replied. neither did the ‚Radical Cheerleaders’, who i also contacted. so this didn t help me to find you. later on, i decided to start with a little research in the local stripclubs in Queens and Brooklyn, asking my friends for accompany. so we visited a series of these, met different exotic dancers and ways of temptation, taking place in the varying shapes of interior and ambiance. that was quite some interesting experience. although the first night ended up with some drunken horny guy, trying to talk to me and touch me. and when i wiped his hands away, he was just too drunk to figure out that i wasn t just a girl, having a bad day, who didn t want to be touched for some reason, but rather a girl who just didn t work there.
my dear, i hope this letter finds you well, and i m really nuts about going on with our deal.
sincerely yours, Claudia